The countdown to my return as really, really started. Those who see the glass half full will say I've been on the road for five months. Those who see the glass half empty will say I have less than a month to go around far, far away countries. To make mine this Earth.
I'm of those who see the glass half empty right now. Because I really don't want to go back, except to spend a couple of hours with that godson who misses me (rightfully) a little too much for his little kid heart.
That said, in the assessment area, I can tell the fifth month was the most intense, as much on the questionning side, the non necessary stress side and unforgettable encounters. Maybe I'm getting more and more sensitive with time.
That last month was marked by a visit in the hospital, an improvised pit stop in Greece, the purchase of my most expensive flight ever, even if it's a one way flight, a very strange adventure to get my visa for Brazil, lost luggages and deeply moving encounters. It was the time of my most depressing moments too, because of all of those adventures. I needed to stop many times, on park benches, anywhere in fact, because i didn't want to move anymore. Because I needed to pause, think right there, and try to get over that hollow of vagueness. Searching for a meaning to all of this...
Month number 5 was marked by the discovery of strong links you can build in 24 hours, the astonishment is still present when someone says "I genuinely enjoyed my time with you"- after only a few hours - this impression of hating life because it brings us apart too fast from people we might never see again and have been in our lives for too short.
Month number 5 is testing the confidence in ourselves, getting older too fast, making decisions for the future, which is still too close, and will definitely catch us somewhere. It's wishing those decisions hold when time will come to make them true. It's searching for a way to spend six more months traveling, in pure improvisation this time, to test the speed of the wind that will bring us who-knows-where.
Month number 5 is receiving love from home, from people too stressed out to say "I love you" daily, but are taking time for me because they are missing me. It's always when you leave that people start realizing how much you mean to them.
Month number 5, it's pushing a little too much on the batteries, moving often from a country to another, and feeling like we need to land somewhere, only if it was for five consecutive days. But regretting nothing, because it was so worth it.
Month number 5, it's thinking you need to go back, just so you are ready when time comes. Actually, I booked all the flights I need to get back to Montreal. If I see myself holding on the door of the plane, at Pierre-Elliott-Trudeau airport, refusing to let go of that trip of a lifetime, I'm trying to think positive to tell myself everything will be fine. And I try to trust those words I saw on a fence, in a park in Helsinki : "One day, I'll get over all of my doubts".
Here are the cities I've seen in the last month :
Thailand : Chiang Mai, Bangkok.
Jordan : Amman, Petra (Wadi Musa), Wadi Rum, Amman
Greece : Athens, Mykonos
Lithuania : Vilnius, Trakai
Latvia : Riga, Sigulda
Estonia : Tallinn, Lahemaa national park
Finland : Helsinki
Portugal : Lisbon, Lagos, Sagres
No comments:
Post a Comment