If I had to do it all over again

Sapa, Vietnam

I'm getting so late. SO late! In everything i do. Because coming back home, I trip on every line on the floor. But it'll get better. I hope! And I'll be able to restore the speed of the sand leeking in the hourglass to a rythm I'll choose.

While waiting for that to happen, one often asks me what I think about that epic six months getting further and further away in the rearview. If you had to do it all over again... they ask. With suspension points. So I can complete the affirmation.

If I had to do it all over again, I would'nt change a thing. Not a minute, not a second. Nothing! Too bad for that French tourist who thought my trip was too fast to allow me to taste the life in every country.

True that I will never be done with this world. That I still have so much to discover. But you can never regret happiness. One can't wish to go back and change the intoxication that makes him forget life's imperfections.

When I think about it, I didn't learn a lot of words in the languages I encountered. I had an upset stomach almost every day for weeks, even months. My bones did hurt for sleeping on so-called beds made only of a plank of wood and almost no soft material to make that at least close to comfortable. I had so many frustrations not being able to communicate, not knowing where I was going, having to chase visas, lost luggages, train or bus tickets. But I wouldn't change a thing. And it's not to make believe I'm nice or intelligent or full of wisdom, to look like I understood something I did not really understand or to repeat a cliché like "one can never regret happiness".

It's because I feel it right there. I know I made the best decision of my life by sailing away. I allowed myself to become somebody wherever I was, to leave a footprint that is already fading away everywhere I went, but that allowed me to get a better grip on the steering wheel that is driving me who-knows-where.

If I had to do it all over again, I would put that naivety, my fears and my lack of preparation in my big backpack. Like I did back in February. And I wouldn't hesitate to use them to give life to that canvas which would cover itself with the unknown day after day.

Twenty countries in six months, it's tiring sometimes. It's necessary to listen to ourselves. Which I did. But it's being able to compare cultures, appreciate them even more by opposing their own realities.

If I had to do it all over again, I would put the key in the door the day before yesterday and I would fly away with a big smile on my face. How could I ever regret the beauty and the extravagance of this world? Like the rice terraces in Sapa... Unforgettable.

If I had to do it all over again, six months ago, I wouldn't change a thing.

If I had to do it all over again now, with the experience of the last six months, I would go without a deadline, purely improvising, a one way ticket in my pocket, half of the clothing in the checked-in luggage. I would choose a first destination and I would go with the flow, would trust the travelers I would meet. I would explore the small villages to appreciate each country for what it is.

Because that is what the experience of a trip around the globe allows : having the time to take our time with the confidence in ourselves to know we'll always get where we are supposed to be.